You’ve picked out a dating site, uploaded your pictures and filled out your profile. Now it’s time to get to the heart of the matter: the search. Whether you’re clicking or swiping, the principle is always the same – you look, read and... if it’s a good match, write a message. But what’s important when it comes to the first message? What’s right, wrong or simply inappropriate?

In and of itself, the first message is quite simple as long as you read the profile of the desired candidate beforehand. This way, things to talk about in the first message will come to you naturally.

“You like to go hiking? I go up to the mountains at least once a month. So what’s your favorite tour here in the area?”

In the first message, try to refer to information that you’ve discovered on your potential partner’s profile. Here you can refer to either something the person has written about or to his or her pictures. This once again shows how important a good selection of profile pictures is. Suitable photos provide plenty of opportunities to initiate a conversation.

Last but not least, you should make sure to leave behind any shyness at this point. Acting shy simply doesn’t mix well with online dating. After all, everyone using the site or app knows that the other registered users are also looking for a partner and are therefore happy about every message and opportunity to flirt.

First Message Do’s

  • Reading the profile beforehand
  • Authenticity
  • Creativity
  • Honesty
  • “Just do it” mentality

First Message Don’ts

  • Boring, vacant openers: “Hi”, “Hello” with no further information
  • Asking questions that the profile already provides answers to
  • Lying
  • Acting shy